E3
Yes it’s E3 again, sort of, but I don’t get to go to it. A fake journalist on a fake website apparently doesn’t get to go to fake E3 - how’s that for fucking justice? I should be the first one considered for any make believe events, considering my life-long dedication to avoiding reality in all it’s awful, awful forms.
Still, even though I’m not at E3 I can make predictions:
-Sony, in a fairly obvious move, adds a nun chuck-like controller to the PS2, effectively turning it into a better version of a Wii. It goes on to sell 10 million times more units than PS3.
-Microsoft, in a bid to stave off more lawsuits, indicates a small problem with ambient radiation, & explains where deformed newborns can be sent for new babys.
-Nintendo’s new partnership with Fisher Price comes as a surprise to many, as does the name of the new console, Project Fuck You Die-Hard Fans.
You also missed out on tales of public drunkenness & indiscretion - maybe next year.
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