Old Habits
Aw, what happened again? Someone, drunken, lazy, sleepy & often all 3 at once, didn’t post on the geek-blog for days. Dammit. Well, all I can say is I’m sorry, & I’ll just have to do better - sorry non-existent audience.
Now it’s time for Wishbane’s Cavalcade of Holiday Games, where I size up the probable value of the remaining ‘07 releases based on pure intuition. First up - Super Mario Galaxy. This shitty game looks like my ass; is this a game, or a window into 10 years ago? Because if it’s some kind of temporal displacement generator, my hat is off to you, Nintendo. If it’s an actual 2007 game, though, that’s sucking large on the bone. I don’t even care how it plays, that’s unacceptable. Next - Crysis. This PC only title is from a development team which can’t spell a simple word like “crisis”. Did I mention it was PC only? Forget about this game. Next - Soul Calibur Legends for the Wii. There’s no reason for this game to exist, except as a very specific punishment for Soul Calibur fans who go to hell - the thought of mentally challenged toddlers waving the grotesque waggle stick at some of the most iconic characters in fighting game history makes my alcohol enhanced blood boil. Also being released - Metal Gear Solid 4. I don’t understand the appeal of this type of game, filled with tedious sneaking & hiding, flight simulator style controls & a crazy plot which appears to make less sense the more you find out about it. There’s something cool about it, though - this game will be awesome. And finally - Mass Effect. This is apparently Knights of the Old Republic with an original setting instead of the ass-raped Star Wars universe ( you know what you did, Lucas. Starting with ewoks. ), so it would be great if it weren’t an RPG, with the small replay value which that implies. Still, it looks great & hip people will like it - I predict this game will be admired & somewhat appreciated.
That’s about it except for my Animal Crossing progress, & I must confess I barely played it accept to make some unsatisfying purchases, catch an octopus & warn a new resident about the cretinous & probably inbred yocels who infest my little town. Plus, Tom Selleck’s ( as always, not his name ) flea market was closed again for renovation. What the hell.
Happy Marios.
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