Top 10 Things You Didn’t know About Ned Bowen
The charismatic head of BBL ( Big Brother League ) is well know to gamers as a fiercely individualistic, possibly sociopathic & scary freak of nature - but what do you really know about him? Join VGG in learning a little more about the man his staff usually refer to as “my ex-employer”
10] Drinks his own pee - Just like Ghandi, Ned likes to drink his own urine! ” If it comes out of me, it’s got to be good” says Ned. Indeed!
9] Doesn’t play video games - “Video games are for faggots” advises Ned, “honestly, why not just kill yourself & spare real people the trouble of dealing with - hey, is that mic on?” Yep!
8] Likes it rough - “Stop whining you little bitch, I pay extra for - hey, it’s this fucking guy again with the mic! Who the hell are you?!” Ned has sex with prostitutes & pays extra to beat them - cool!
7] World’s smallest penis - Ned was awarded the coveted Golden Seahorse at a special ceremony in Geneva last year for having the world’s tiniest male member - “It’s also the softest” added a proud Ned.
6] His favorite band is Abba - “way better than Zeppelin,” says Ned, “way, way better.”
5] Doesn’t like puppies - Ned has a special “puppy squeezing box” ( formerly owned by Adolf Hitler ), with which he loves to dispatch helpless, cute little puppies - nice!
4] Raised by wolves - Just like the mythical Romulus & Remus, Ned was raised by a wolf after being abandoned by his own parents - until the wolf abandoned him at age five.
3] Mentally handicapped - “I talk pretty good, right?” explains Ned, “But other stuff like reading, or tying shoes or understanding anything, I can’t do it!” No way, dude!
2] Always jackin’ it - “Look out if you’re coming in my office - because I’m coming in my office!” Ned masturbates all day long - he really likes it!
1] Devout Satanist - “Satan is lord” says a humble Ned, “he turned my life around & made me what I am today - all that peace & charity & stuff is for assholes.” You said it, man!
If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.
Comments
No comments yet.
Leave a comment