The Top 10 Nicest Breasts in Videogames ( With pictures! )
Sometimes when your credibility drops low enough, you begin feeling around down there for the fabled “bottom” - well, I think we found it! Yep, it’s the worst & most tasteless “article” yet on VG, all about big old virtual hooters & who’s got the best ones. And yes, I just wrote that.
The only rule ( we have some standards ): No sprites - only full bodied, polygonal babes allowed ( Sorry Mai ).
10 ) Tifa Lockheart - All the way from the distant past we present the gravity abstaining young heroine from Final Fantasy VII, mostly on the basis of the ( at the time ) state of the art cut-scenes. A little primitive looking to our jaded, modern eyes perhaps but damn.
9 ) Bloodrayne - What this series lacked in many areas was made up for in this vampire lass’s skimpy costume & generous chest pillows. Nothing makes up for the films, though.
8 ) Those God of War Chicks - The world’s best mini-game, no list ( of this kind… ) would be complete without these mythological honeys. Or as stueynet put it in our “planning meeting”: “Those God of War hookers - hot“. The censored image is all about my laziness in finding an uncensored one, not about any prudery on our part - sorry.
7 ) Samus Aran - Nice way to make games for kids, Nintendo. Really, really nice. What the hell were you thinking with that painted on costume & come hither look - I mean, standards, you know? There’s no excuse for this kind of image in media aimed at youngsters.
6 ) Trish - From the Devil May Cry series, just pure blond, pneumatic hotness. Maybe I’ll even play this game one day.
5 ) Lara Croft - Right, of course I had to include her, but how could you not? Nice rack, Ms Croft, nice going.
4 ) Nina Williams - They don’t look all that big in this picture ( or any other image I was able to source after looking for half an hour ), but trust me, Nina has some nice big breasts.
3 ) Kasumi - It was hard to find a big chested girl in the DOA games, but I include Kasumi here in the hope that future games in this series will pay some attention to this feature.
2 ) Rachel - See Team Ninja, you can design a nice chest when you want to. The plucky co-star of Ninja Gaiden, Rachel’s likes include killing things, chafing & women’s liberation.
1) Taki - Almost every woman in Soul Calibur 4 has giant breasts, but I chose Taki because of the sheer overkill combination of size & presentation. Nice way to fetishize breasts, Namco - you win! And so do all of us ( all of us who aren’t justifiably angry & disgusted women ).
So there you have it, our worst ever top 10 list featuring 10 lovely videogame babes who are not only great fighters, but also undoubtedly great swimmers.
Excellent leasts… I mean brist… I mean… forget tit… boobies!
Booooobbbiies!!! yay.