Author Archive
VGG’s Top 10 Hottest Videogame Babes - Fighting Game Edition
The top 10 most porkable women in fighting games, as selected by the extremely elderly, drunken & lecherous Wishbane. Yes, I know, every geekblog has a list like this - we’re not here to be original. We’re here to waste some of your time before you resume your search for whatever website you were really […]
The Peter Molineux Joke
You know this better as “the Bill Gates joke”, but I find with a little tweaking it works fine like this.
Is Your Xbox 360 Shaking Itself to Pieces?
Among the more annoying properties of your 360 is undoubtedly the deafening roar it emits when it runs - this same obnoxious noise also results in a lot of vibration.
Wishbane Rates the Home Consoles
What pernicious & vengeful deity did gamers offend so completely to end up with the current litter of consoles? Your intrepid reporter Wishbane ( as seen on the internet ) rants about investigates the situation with the steely eyed objectivity only the drunken possess.
Top 10 Fox News Future Video Game Headlines
Following in the wake of the Mass Effect coverage ( “Sexbox” ), here are 10 more headlines you can expect from the fact deficient network:
10] Kane & Lynch: Dead Policemen.
9] PS3some.
8] Burnout’s Paradise.
Top 10 Upcoming Wii Titles
Here they are, our most anticipated Wii games listed in ascending order of expected awesomeness:
10] Super Mario Shrubber.
9] Animal Crossing: Here Comes Boredom!
8] Sammy the Trowel’s Shovelware Bonanza.
N3 Review Xbox 360
Yes this game is old, but I’ve only just played it because all the reviews in the world said it was bad - time to address that, because this game is great. And fuck all jaded, worthless mainstream critics - you need to be replaced.
Final Fantasy Music - Played Live
Celebrating the 20th anniversary ( ! ) of the beloved Final Fantasy video game franchise, Distant Worlds: music from Final Fantasy makes it’s U.S. premier ( performed by the Chicagoland Pops Orchestra ) at the Rosemont theatre on March 1st of this very year - if you’re in the area, this would be an excellent […]
KUF Circle of Doom ( X360 ) Review
You know what I love about this site - I can write whatever I want about this industry without any regard for reason, fairness or lawsuits. At this point in the review you know what to expect, but why not keep reading anyways?
About Some Games I Sold
Yesterday I went down to my local videogame store ( the excellent Gamecenter, at the corner of Yonge & Charles in downtown T.O. ) & sold a bunch of games, which I’m now going to tell you about instead of writing a real article:
KUF Circle of Doom X360…Demo?
Yes, I’m reviewing a demo. I really enjoyed it ( I’m still replaying it ), so I’d like to recommend that you download it - but first, I’ll explain why this demo may or may not be for you. After all, the last thing we at Geek want to do is waste any of your […]
DLC Stupidity - Arkadian Warriors Review ( XBLA )
Guess who paid 800 Microsoft points for Arkadian Warriors - if you guessed me, you’d be right. It’s not that this is a terrible game ( it’s merely average ), it’s more that it was just so obviously not a smart purchase. Why, oh why does stupidity stalk my poor little life, ruining every moment […]
Geometry Wars: Galaxies - DS Review
Ah, the oldschool shooting game. Playing through the first 30 minutes reaffirms why everyone used to love them, playing through the next infinity minutes reminds us why no one plays them anymore.
What Ever Happened To Virtual Reality?
This was supposed to be an intelligent article addressing the whole idea of Virtual Reality, a genre which seemed like it was just around the corner in the late 90’s yet now etc, etc. As discussed with Stueynet this was going to be the “money” article which was going to put Geek on the blog […]
Most Wanted Guitar Hero DLC
My top 10 most wanted DLC for Guitar Hero 3:
1] Jeff Beck/Beck’s Bolero. The best song by ( arguably ) the best rock guitar player of all time. Don’t call the game Guitar Hero if Jeff Beck isn’t in it.
2] Led Zeppelin/Heartbreaker. This is rock music - they invented it.
3] AC/DC/Back in Black. It’s […]
The World’s Laziest Blogger
Ah Wishbane, Wishbane - it’s not like there’s anything particularly hard about writing a few lines in a blog every day, but there it is, I am lazy. It’s especially bad considering there are actually a few people reading the geekblog these days, to those few discerning internet adventurers I offer my apologies. You […]
Kidnapped by J6
While investigating the unexplained disappearance of many of the premier ( imaginary video game ) fighters in the world today, your intrepid reporter ( that’s me ) found himself in the clutches of none other than the dreaded ( imaginary Sega video game bad guys ) J6.
Heroic
Yes geek brothers & sisters, I finally finished Halo 3 on Heroic - I’m glad I did it, but as I suspected the Flood showcase level Cortana was a little tedious. I can really do without enemies that don’t die when I kill them times infinity; I get it, they’re space zombies ( so why […]
Bleach!
Yes, I’ve got a new game for my DS & as you may have guessed it’s Bleach, an awesome fighting game from Treasure - I love this game & am unable to express myself in an way intelligently or critically about it, so I’ll just say: Wishbane love game, it name Bleach! Fun time, game, […]
Drunken Halo
Hello fellow geeks, I hope this post finds you well, if not happy - for how can the geeky find happiness in this world of “coolness”, “well-paying jobs” & “hygiene”? Oh well - at least you have this blog, & we love tolerate you; the fact that you don’t as yet technically exist […]