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How we hear Grognads in our little Geek heads....
Jason M. Brown
United Kingdom
Enfield
London
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This is a tribute to Grognads, whose endlessly bizarre messages are a constant joy to read. Whenever I read his messages, his voice in my head is played by Bobcat Goldthwait - Zed in Police Academy 2, 3 and 4. So this list is for all you geeks to 'fess up and tell me how you hear Grognads in your heads!
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1. Board Game: Police Alert [Average Rating:5.50 Unranked]
Jason M. Brown
United Kingdom
Enfield
London
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When I read Grognads, I hear...

Bobcat Goldthwait - best known (in the UK anyway!) as Zed in the Police Academy movies.
 
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Matt Armstead
United States
New Brighton
Minnesota
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Zed: People just don't understand me.
Laura: Maybe if you talk slower...
Zed: No, I mean who I am. Man, now I have to worry about my diction too?
 
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 1:39 pm
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2. Board Game: The Dark Crystal Game [Average Rating:5.63 Unranked]
Noel
United States
Unspecified
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The Chamberlain.
 
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Cpl. Sadler 8-0
United States
Rockville
Maryland
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Hey, MMP! I want Marines, not Finns! RISING SUN NOW! HAAKAKAKAKA PALAAAAAAA LATER!
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It is I who "brought" the GELF-ling!
 
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  • Posted Wed Sep 28, 2005 9:49 pm
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Annick Jean
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Burlington
Vermont
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thumbsup yeah, it's got that crazy cadence and lilting.
 
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  • Posted Fri Sep 30, 2005 7:07 pm
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3. Board Game: Null Bock! [Average Rating:5.48 Unranked]
Count Ringworm
United States

Iowa
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I confess, I usually skip his comments. Hence, /dev/null.
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W M Shubert
United States
Portland
Oregon
KGS is the #1 web site for playing go over the internet. Visit now!
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I must admit, me too. When I take the time to read his stuff it is often funny or generally a good comment, but his font tricks just makes it so *!@$@!$ difficult to read that I usually give up halfway through the first sentence. I guess I'm more easily annoyed by font tricks than most.
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  • Posted Wed Sep 28, 2005 9:55 pm
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Robert Rossney
United States
San Francisco
California [CA]
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It always reminds me of Jeremy Hilary Boob:

If I spoke in prose
You'd soon find out
I don't know what
I talk about.
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 12:14 am
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Bernard Donohue
United States
Newark
California
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Generally skip them myself. I'm sure they're wonderful, but it's just too much of a pain to decypher.
 
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 12:54 am
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Robert Wesley
Nepal
Aberdeen
Washington
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shake sure, "muffinflayer" LIKE 'you' gots sumthin BETTER to 'do'? oh yeah, gots to 'flay dem muffins' ''...and DANCE!''
''you can flay all your muffins, or you can sit 'round in a constant trance''
''but if you decide to go outside, then you better put on some pants!''
''you can dance, you can dance, and flail your arms all about''
''in a trance, in a trance, until your muffins are all flayed out!''

sauron
laugh<---'smiley' WITH 'hat'!
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 1:18 am
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Edward Philippi
United States
Chico
California
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ROFLMAO!!

Thanks GROG

sauron
arrrh <---- Pirate with hat
 
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 8:28 pm
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4. Board Game: The Simpsons Trivia Game [Average Rating:4.61 Overall Rank:7826]
Jack Herbert
United States
Forest Hill
Maryland
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I hear the "Comic Book Guy' from the Simpsons

 
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Mark Kittel
United States
Albany
New York
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This is close to how I hear him...
 
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  • Posted Wed Sep 28, 2005 9:06 pm
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Neil Carr
United States
Barre
Vermont
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Yeah, this is how it comes off to me.
 
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  • Posted Wed Sep 28, 2005 10:31 pm
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Michael Fitch
United States
Garner
North Carolina
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Yes, Grognads is a veritable font of whizz-dumb. He makes me giggle like a little chit-ling...and he is generally worth deciphering.

Wow! I now have a new appreciation for his mad font-ski7z - it just took about 15 minutes to compose this post. zombie


Oh, and I think this is close to the sound that he makes in my brain.
 
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  • Posted Wed Sep 28, 2005 11:32 pm
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Keith Schramek
United States
Gridley
Illinois
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Worst use of Fonts ever!
 
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 12:52 am
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Robert Wesley
Nepal
Aberdeen
Washington
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"quatsch"-WORST 'misuse' of an 'obtuse' 'excuse' for 'refuse', I 'profuse'!
 
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 1:35 am
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Iain K
United States
Arvada
Colorado
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Best representation of Groggy . . . ever . . .
 
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 4:11 am
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5. Board Game: Saturday Night Live Trivia Board Game [Average Rating:5.25 Unranked]
How tall is justice?
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Georgetown
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"Chris Farley" on "Weekend Update" doing the "air quotes" for "emphasis".
 
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Neil Carr
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Barre
Vermont
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Yeah, it's basically the comic book guy but with him constantly quoting in the air with all the stresses.
 
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  • Posted Wed Sep 28, 2005 10:37 pm
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J (RBG)
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Slave Lake
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Good one. Very appropriate.
 
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  • Posted Wed Sep 28, 2005 11:02 pm
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Iain K
United States
Arvada
Colorado
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Nahh . . . more like Chris Farley in a Van down by The River . . .
 
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 4:14 am
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Robert Wesley
Nepal
Aberdeen
Washington
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''YOU 'kids' with your new-fangled 'devices of distraction'-hikes up pants-those fancy-pantsed 'Piodds', or the 'MP3-Hammer' get-ups, when you ought to be studying, but you're too busy 'Tex-Mex Messaging' while you should be nose-deep in some 'old skool' books!-clasps hands IF you don't wise-up and fly-straight, then you're gonna end 'being' my 'neighbor'... living in a VAN... down by the river... where I shot my baby!''
surprise
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  • Posted Mon Oct 3, 2005 9:33 pm
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6. Board Game: Electronic Mall Madness [Average Rating:5.14 Overall Rank:7479]
Ken Boone
United States
Cleveland
Ohio
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A 10-year-old girl that writes letters with scented magic markers.
 
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Robert Wesley
Nepal
Aberdeen
Washington
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HEY! I thought that 'this' was about ME! and NOT some 'confessing your dreams & Secret desires' about yourself! 'Scented markers'-HA! I'll have you 'know' that I USE 'flavored' AND 'color' ones too! ''Scratch `n Sniff'' away BABY!...and lick me good!
mmmmmm...''snozzleberries!''
laugh
 
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  • Posted Wed Sep 28, 2005 10:41 pm
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Iain K
United States
Arvada
Colorado
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Ohhh . My . God! Like Groggy, there's totally a sale on markers!
 
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 4:13 am
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Steve Donohue
United States
Allen Park
Michigan
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Snozzberries, not snozzleberries.
 
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 4:41 am
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Robert Wesley
Nepal
Aberdeen
Washington
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Well, I was 'quoting' from ''Charlie and the 'V.C.' Cadres'' myself, and them 'Montagnards' have a FRANCE-land background, so of course then THEY have to call them ''snozzLEberries'', ya kno? awww, maybe you don't huh?
shake
 
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 5:06 am
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Mark Kittel
United States
Albany
New York
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Quote:
HEY! I thought that 'this' was about ME! and NOT some 'confessing your dreams & Secret desires' about yourself! 'Scented markers'-HA! I'll have you 'know' that I USE 'flavored' AND 'color' ones too! ''Scratch `n Sniff'' away BABY!...and lick me good!
mmmmmm...''snozzleberries!'...


Okay, now, see, this is EXACTLY why I hear the comic-store guy from the Simpsons...
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 4:06 pm
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7. Board Game: StarRunner [Average Rating:5.00 Unranked]
Scott A. Reed
United States
Lawrence
Kansas
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Space. Space. Wannagotospace. Space. What's your favorite thing about space? mine's space.
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I just wasted 100 :gg: on this.
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I always hear him as the King of Town from Homestar Runner.

"More 'Gravy' please, doo hoo hoo"
 
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8. Board Game: Taxi! [Average Rating:5.83 Unranked]
Paul DeStefano
United States
Long Island
New York
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It's a Zendrum. www.zendrum.com
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Rev. Jim Ignatowski plyed by Christopher Lloyd.
 
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Huzonfirst
United States
Manassas
Virginia
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David Wright is hitting over .400 and has an OBA of over .500. He is a young god!
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That's it! Perfect!!! thumbsupthumbsupthumbsup
 
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  • Posted Wed Sep 28, 2005 11:58 pm
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9. Board Game: Shake Up [Average Rating:5.22 Unranked]
Jorgen
United States
Ferndale
California
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Master Shake from the cartoon Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
 
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Robert Wesley
Nepal
Aberdeen
Washington
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''ma name is...GROG-nads-stah, the 'Grand Mastah'! other playahs hate me 'cause I'm, gone pastyah!
"muffinflayer" gots his 'foil hat' on noooow!
and "UhhhClem" gots 'wood 4 sheep' & HOOOOW!
"Count Ringworm", gonna see ya squirm, take your 'meds' or else you're gonna be infirm
stir up some nasty-nasty 'bowel moves' neyeoooooow!
as "Beat Posse" gets to git inna his [i]'grooves'
EeyeooOOWW! [size=14][b]b{♫
 
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 2:10 am
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Jack Herbert
United States
Forest Hill
Maryland
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You have to love Master Shake.
 
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 2:37 am
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Iain K
United States
Arvada
Colorado
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. . . not if you're Frickin' Carl you don't!
 
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 4:15 am
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John Rodriguez
United States
Irving
Texas
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Master Shake is the greatest philosopher of our time...
 
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 8:23 am
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10. Board Game: The Mad Magazine Game [Average Rating:4.81 Overall Rank:7904]
Ely Wilson
United States
Woodland Park
Colorado
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I always feel like I'm reading something in Mad Magazine.
 
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Robert Wesley
Nepal
Aberdeen
Washington
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Are you 'sure' that you're NOT just 'looking at the pretty pictures'? don't strain yerseff on dat 'fold-up puzzle' in the back! Yes, I did 'read' that as well...when I was a 'kid'!
''Nat.Lamp'' is where it's AT!
surprise
 
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 3:46 am
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11. Board Game: Fortress America [Average Rating:6.74 Overall Rank:683]
David Greene
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Brooklyn
New York
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I actually had the honor of an hour-long phone conversation with the Legend, and his voice was quite clear, thoughtful and precise. I emphatically second Jack Herbert's remark that Robert is a very nice and generous guy. He was the first person I and many others met on Geek Chat, and he has been a kind and benevolent friend and host to us all.
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Harvester of Eyes.
United States
Louisville
Kentucky
My demeanor was meaner.
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I have spoken to GROGnads by phone. He sounds like somebody named...uh...Robert Wesley! You may not read his posts but he reads yours. In a 5 for 5 game trade that culminated on my birthday he included a BOC concert T-shirt, which has become my lucky gaming shirt, and a BOC Cassette still in the shrink.
 
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 3:54 am
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Andrew Swan
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Quote:
his voice was quite clear, thoughtful and precise

... SO 'what' do you suppose goes wrong~between "his" brain 'and' THE keyboard ... ? it would MAKE a good "PhD" thesis!
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  • Posted Fri Nov 4, 2005 10:32 am
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Jason M. Brown
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Enfield
London
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Kudos to you Game Boy - that was EXACTLY like GROGnads. Nobody else has ever managed to even get it remotely close - i'm now worried that you're both the same person, or Keyser Soze, or all three.
 
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  • Posted Fri Nov 4, 2005 10:36 am
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12. Board Game: Stein auf Stein [Average Rating:5.78 Unranked]
Bill Koens
United States
Watsonville
California
marks the spot.
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Ben Stein from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"

"Bueller?"




"Bueller?"







"Bueller?"






Just kidding.
 
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Robert Wesley
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Aberdeen
Washington
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naaaaaw, he's too dry and laconic, although I did enjoy his T V show of ''Win Ben Stein's Money'', when that was on. ''Jimmy Kimmel & Cousin Sal'' were excellent in this as well, as they provided the crude humour in the manner that they'd 'contribute' with their comments about the TOPICS that would be covered. Then again, their gibes at some of the guests were pure Comedic 'platinum' platitudes! Besides, ole 'Ben' was hardly as 'animated' as I could become, with his 'prim & proper' demeanor.
 
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 9:23 pm
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13. Board Game: Java Man [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Iain K
United States
Arvada
Colorado
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Groggy is da’ Man. A class act who’s a positive, albeit highly caffeinated, member of our community. To those of you who don’t “bother” reading his prose – it’s your loss as his polychromatic witticisms are often well thought out.

True, that movie with Hanks was a mistake . . . but hey we all make ‘em.

Groggy, long may your Caps key stick !
 
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Iain K
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Oh, and he sounds like the teacher on Charlie Brown . . .
 
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 4:28 am
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Robert Wesley
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Washington
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''WAAAH! waah wah 'waaaah', wah waah waaah waah wah wah? WAAH waaah 'waaaaah' waaah wah waah! waah...Waaah waah wah waaaaah, waah waaaaa-WAH-'waaah', & WAAAH wah waaah waah, wah 'waaah'?
 
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 4:57 am
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How tall is justice?
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Quote:
''WAAAH! waah wah 'waaaah', wah waah waaah waah wah wah? WAAH waaah 'waaaaah' waaah wah waah! waah...Waaah waah wah waaaaah, waah waaaaa-WAH-'waaah', & WAAAH wah waaah waah, wah 'waaah'?

This isn't Charlie Brown's teacher, it's the solo from Peter Frampton's "Show Me the Way".
 
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 12:53 pm
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Harvester of Eyes.
United States
Louisville
Kentucky
My demeanor was meaner.
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Quote:
''WAAAH! waah wah 'waaaah', wah waah waaah waah wah wah? WAAH waaah 'waaaaah' waaah wah waah! waah...Waaah waah wah waaaaah, waah waaaaa-WAH-'waaah', & WAAAH wah waaah waah, wah 'waaah'?


Alright my minds made up. I AM gonna buy me a wah-wah pedal and NOT new games!
 
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 7:04 pm
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Needle
Australia
Leichhardt
NSW
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Scrib you don't have a wah-wah pedal-the shame the shame!!
 
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 8:46 pm
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14. Board Game: Fortress Europa [Average Rating:6.51 Overall Rank:1765]
Michael G
United States
Pembroke Pines
Florida
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I don't hear a voice, but I do think about a game.

 
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15. Board Game: Maya Madness [Average Rating:5.97 Overall Rank:5254]
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I hear Grogs with the hyperactive, mumbling voice of Australian comic book writer Gerard Ashworth (who I had a cup of tea with once). If you click the Ashworth link below then compare it to Grogs's art / typography / humour, you'll see definite similarities.

http://www.tabula-rasa.info/AusComics/WeirdStressKittens.htm...
 
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16. Board Game: Office Boy [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
♪ Isaäc Bickërstaff ♫
United States
Greer
South Carolina
designer
Entropy Seminar:
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The results of a five yeer studee ntu the sekund lw uf thurmodynamiks aand itz inevibl fxt hon shewb rt nslpn raq liot.
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I guess I think of Milton, from Office Space.

 
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♪ Isaäc Bickërstaff ♫
United States
Greer
South Carolina
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Entropy Seminar:
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The results of a five yeer studee ntu the sekund lw uf thurmodynamiks aand itz inevibl fxt hon shewb rt nslpn raq liot.
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Or, better yet:

 
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 12:41 pm
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Iain K
United States
Arvada
Colorado
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LOL

Ummm I BELIEVE you have my stapler . . .
 
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  • Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 1:27 pm
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17. Board Game: Aladdin: Sounds of Fun Electronic Talking Board Game [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Ken Jarosz
United States
North
Ohio
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Gilbert Godfried

And that is all I have to say about THAT!

 
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18. Board Game: Tintin [Average Rating:4.64 Overall Rank:7318]
Morgan Dontanville
United States
Brooklyn
New York
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Plate of Shrimp.
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Here we are folks, the dream we all dream of.
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tinnitus............eeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEE~~EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEE 'E' EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEE EEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEE "EEEEEE" EEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
~~
cry
 
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Robert Wesley
Nepal
Aberdeen
Washington
designer
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tenacious.......DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
[b]DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
laugh
 
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  • Posted Sun Oct 2, 2005 8:14 pm
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19. Board Game: Hilarium [Average Rating:5.36 Overall Rank:6976]
Gerald McDaniel
United States
Lakewood
Colorado
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Here is my take on Grognads, posted some time ago:

There are many humorous people on BGG, and I enjoy most of their comments, but I rarely read a comment by GROGnads that doesn’t cause me to at least smile, and usually to laugh out loud. Sometimes I just keep re-reading his comments to see what I missed (or to try to figure out what I didn’t understand).

Example: http://www.boardgamegeek.com/geeklist.php3?action=view&listi...


{My reaction: What was that again? No, wait, don’t repeat it, please.}

**********
See original GeekList at:

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/geeklist.php3?action=view&listi...
 
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20. Board Game: Whatzit? [Average Rating:5.02 Overall Rank:7648]
Andreas Resch
Austria
Graz/Bad Radkersburg
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For a german speaker with just moderate english skills he's very hard to understand most of the time. But if you scale his postings up, print it out and hang it on some wall they make some great pieces of art.
From meeting him at the chat then and now I can tell - he's a witty guy and fast as a gunslinger when it's about commenting on things.
Take it away Grog ...
 
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21. Board Game: The Mask 3-D Board Game [Average Rating:2.00 Unranked]
Chris Hillery
United States
Sacramento
California
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I really hear him as the horrifying offspring of William Shatner and Robin Williams. But Jim Carrey's vocal stylings as "The Mask" come kind of close. Smmmmookin'!
 
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22. Board Game: The Tick: Hip Deep in Evil! [Average Rating:4.94 Overall Rank:6943]
Jason Kraft
United States
West Palm Beach
Florida
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I kinda picture the Midnight Bomber, Who Bombs at Midnight...

"bad" is *good* baby!

I always love Grognads' posts.
 
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23. Board Game: Snatch [Average Rating:6.47 Overall Rank:2619]
Christopher Ebert
United States
Cape Coral
Florida
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I know this is an old thread, but I have come across GROGnad posts earlier this year. At first I ignored them cause I couldn't figure them out, but then after awhile I would drive myself insane trying to figure them out.

Anyway, for some reason, when I read his posts now, in my head I hear the voice of Jason Statham with the speech pattern of Sadie (Holly Davidson) in Van Wilder 2.
3 
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21 comments [Hide]
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Jack Herbert
United States
Forest Hill
Maryland
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I would just like to add, despite an eccentric style, Robert is a helpful and generous person. He is a 'valued' member to BGG even though that can sometimes be obscured by "quotes",colors, & other font tags.

 
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  • Posted Wed Sep 28, 2005 9:10 pm
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Fraser
Australia
Melbourne
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Yep that was 12 Power Grid maps back to back over two days. Worth doing, but possibly not in such a concentrated burst.
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Ooh yes, now a little to the left - my nose is itchy. No, no the other left! Now what colour is 12 supporter badge going to be I wonder?
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And if you really want to spoil the mystery just listen to the latest GeekSpeak BoardGameSpeak, the Anniversary show episode - BGS-2005-09-26.mp3 - available at iTunes too.

GROGnads speaks meeple
 
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  • Posted Fri Sep 30, 2005 4:23 am
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Jennifer Stone
United States
Auburn
Washington
To all my geekfriends, I know I haven't been around much lately, but BGG is still my homepage and everyone is still in my heart everyday. Just so damn busy!
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I'm not sure if anyone else here at BGG has, but I have had the rare honor of meeting Mr. Robert Wesley on a family trip we made earlier this summer.

My kids loved him, my husband thought he was quite the cool guy, I'm pretty sure the dog liked him (though he likes just about everybody), and the visit made our trip double fun!

I don't think I've ever met anyone (outside my family) as generous as GROGnads. He's on my 8 thumbs and 2 paws up list.
 
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  • Posted Fri Sep 30, 2005 5:52 am
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Chris Hillery
United States
Sacramento
California
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"That guy is wound a little too weird." - Derk
 
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  • Posted Sat Oct 1, 2005 7:43 pm
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Richard Young
United States
Peoria
Arizona
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Trying to read his comments used to drive me nuts at first. I find that if I try not to concentrate on the formatting too much (not easy!) he has a wicked sense of humour.
 
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  • Posted Sun Oct 2, 2005 4:57 pm
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